Return to lord!! My Brother Died Disobeying Allah!

And after a long time..i started to blog again..
In a state of mind , say the most happiest person on the world now...

The feeling of love and to be loved....
When someone understands your feelings and responds back the way you wanted them to...

Your reasons being my excuses...
Your feelings...your emotions...
your thoughts...your love...

i love you... is not an understatement..
its just " I love you"

And i hope you read this as well...

nyaz
9/11/2011

Martyrs of time...

A small memory of a small quote that i wrote on my cupboard, while we were in hostel at PACE, which was indeed one of favorite, and i had got that from sum movies... It s just a remembrance as i had later seen this as a favorite quote of theirs in Facebook profile.

It Goes like ....

" We were here, Fought a battle for several days..

Many had become Martyrs..

Do you have it in you.!? To fight a battle the way we did..!! "

The best part of this was that, i wrote this at the time of our university exams.!! Of course the greatest of battles we ever fought.

An early morning dream..!!

My eyes were still half shut.. i could hear mom calling me from downstairs for breakfast, I didn't wake up...i just lay there and looked through the tinted glass of the window next to my bed... i could see those children walking to school, and those horns of the bikes, selling fish..

i opened the window a little bit to see the sun rays enter my bedroom along with some cool breeze, a smell, which couldn't be expressed, a smell which i was longing for.... the smell of rain after two years. two long years...

I then got up and to open the door, to see that old bicycle lying over there near the stair case way down. Saw that old school bag, the carom board, the old Roller Coast toy that pops had bought me while i was so young. Everything was there perfect as nothing had changed... Its only me who had changed..

i next opened the door to the open terrace, to see the Hill behind my house next to the paddy fields.. Those areas were always green, i thought and prayed it to be so... It was there again....

those greenery's ..... so ravishing, enchanting...

Yes..!! Two years have passed... And i have got it all back... the place, where i became my self... where i was born, where by each and every breath i belong to.... and i was in that world, in a reminiscence, when i heard mom calling me again...

oh my god...!!! She was there side of my bed, scolding me for not waking up, and didn't know what was happening..!! I saw my phone lying on one side of the bed and the laptop still on just beside that.. Ohhh Shit... 14 Mis calls from Office... I am again late today... What a time to dream..!!!!

Did everything in 5 minutes , and when i reached the Hyatt signal, its the same old story..- Traffic. And i thought of that dream, again and again, while driving... I just couldn't find a reason to hate my place.. I was not bothered about the scoldings or remarks by the manager, and i knew why..... Coz deep inside my heart, its the only thing i want....

The Love of Life

Spring

Come, my beloved; let us walk amidst the knolls,

For the snow is water, and Life is alive from its

Slumber and is roaming the hills and valleys.

Let us follow the footprints of Spring into the

Distant fields, and mount the hilltops to draw

Inspiration high above the cool green plains.

Dawn of Spring has unfolded her winter-kept garment

And placed it on the peach and citrus trees; and

They appear as brides in the ceremonial custom of

the Night of Kedre.

The sprigs of grapevine embrace each other like

Sweethearts, and the brooks burst out in dance

Between the rocks, repeating the song of joy;

And the flowers bud suddenly from the heart of

Nature, like foam from the rich heart of the sea.

Come, my beloved; let us drink the last of Winter's

Tears from the cupped lilies, and soothe our spirits

With the shower of notes from the birds, and wander

In exhilaration through the intoxicating breeze.

Let us sit by that rock, where violets hide; let us

Pursue their exchange of the sweetness of kisses.

Summer

Let us go into the fields, my beloved, for the

Time of harvest approaches, and the sun's eyes

Are ripening the grain.

Let us tend the fruit of the earth, as the

Spirit nourishes the grains of Joy from the

Seeds of Love, sowed deep in our hearts.

Let us fill our bins with the products of

Nature, as life fills so abundantly the

Domain of our hearts with her endless bounty.

Let us make the flowers our bed, and the

Sky our blanket, and rest our heads together

Upon pillows of soft hay.

Let us relax after the day's toil, and listen

To the provoking murmur of the brook.

Autumn

Let us go and gather grapes in the vineyard

For the winepress, and keep the wine in old

Vases, as the spirit keeps Knowledge of the

Ages in eternal vessels.

Let us return to our dwelling, for the wind has

Caused the yellow leaves to fall and shroud the

Withering flowers that whisper elegy to Summer.

Come home, my eternal sweetheart, for the birds

Have made pilgrimage to warmth and lest the chilled

Prairies suffering pangs of solitude. The jasmine

And myrtle have no more tears.

Let us retreat, for the tired brook has

Ceased its song; and the bubblesome springs

Are drained of their copious weeping; and

Their cautious old hills have stored away

Their colorful garments.

Come, my beloved; Nature is justly weary

And is bidding her enthusiasm farewell

With quiet and contented melody.

Winter

Come close to me, oh companion of my full life;

Come close to me and let not Winter's touch

Enter between us. Sit by me before the hearth,

For fire is the only fruit of Winter.

Speak to me of the glory of your heart, for

That is greater than the shrieking elements

Beyond our door.

Bind the door and seal the transoms, for the

Angry countenance of the heaven depresses my

Spirit, and the face of our snow-laden fields

Makes my soul cry.

Feed the lamp with oil and let it not dim, and

Place it by you, so I can read with tears what

Your life with me has written upon your face.

Bring Autumn's wine. Let us drink and sing the

Song of remembrance to Spring's carefree sowing,

And Summer's watchful tending, and Autumn's

Reward in harvest.

Come close to me, oh beloved of my soul; the

Fire is cooling and fleeing under the ashes.

Embrace me, for I fear loneliness; the lamp is

Dim, and the wine which we pressed is closing

Our eyes. Let us look upon each other before

They are shut.

Find me with your arms and embrace me; let

Slumber then embrace our souls as one.

Kiss me, my beloved, for Winter has stolen

All but our moving lips.

You are close by me, My Forever.

How deep and wide will be the ocean of Slumber,

And how recent was the dawn!

India Poised Anthem

“There are two Indias in this country
One India is straining at the leash, eager to spring forth and
live up to all the adjectives that the world has been showering recently upon us.
The other India is the leash.
One India says, give me a chance and I’ll prove myself.
The other India says,
prove yourself and maybe then you’ll have a chance.
One India lives in the optimism of our hearts.
The other India lurks in the skepticism of your minds
One India wants. The other India hopes.
One India leads. The other India follows.
But conversions are on the rise. With each passing day more
and more people from the other
India have been coming over to this side.
And quietly, while the world is not looking, a pulsating, dynamic,new
India is emerging.
An India whose faith in success is far greater than its fear in failure.
An India that no longer boycotts foreign-made goods but buys out the
companies that make them instead.
History, they say, is a bad motorist. It rarely ever signals its intentions
when it is making a turn.
This is that rarely-ever moment. History is turning a page.
For more than half a century, our nation has
sprung, stumbled, run. fallen, rolled over, got up, dusted herself and
cantered, sometimes lurched on.
But today, as we begin out 60th year as a free nation, the ride has brought
us to the edge of time’s great precipice.
And one India- a tiny little voice at the back of the head- is looking down
at the bottom of the ravine and hesitating.
The other India is looking up at the sky and saying, it’s time to fly.”
-India Poised Anthem

A Poem by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Saddest Lines

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

I still remember.....

Days months and years pass by...
i am still here, in a veil of loneliness....
with all those thoughts creeping inside my mind....
i would never want to forget them...

awaken by that dream, my eyes searched for what i saw
and my ears echoed, the smiles the then which appeared strange...
i knew, i understood i was in front of a monitor and a keyboard...alone in my cabin...
with no one to talk and those files waiting for my touch...

i never wanted to be like this ,and not in my distant dreams had i thought of being so lonely....
i wondered what they where doing now....
i never knew,and i wouldn't try to...
And atlast in that quite minute i sigh hopeless .....
a tiny tear sheds.... i know... that ... "i still remember".....

Long gone are those days…..

Seven years…. Seven long years…
How do you take it, was it long or just…
However it may be to you..
It has to be a reminiscence…

I look back to those days… those old days infact…
When we first met, and you turned back,
While drifting away with the northern wind..
How could I forget those eyes, shining crystals,
And I could read it even though…

And then it was moreover a habit
We fell in love, gradually…
We made it each other to live long…
But then I forgot, we had grown up…

And now that our time has come and gone..
The pages of life we cant turn back,
We have to separate now as two souls , but a heart,

Tell me my love, would you be able to do so,
I wouldn’t be , in my farthest of dreams
But it has happened now , and I can only exclaim
Long gone are those days…!!!

vadakkunokiyanthram... Sreenivasante kathu...

Inganeyum English Ezhutham....

The Last stanza...

Sometimes we watch the days go by wishing they could last....
you really miss those days which made you realize
there were people out there who really care for you....
for whom you meant more than what you actually thought you did...

someone who left a lasting impression in your life...
who can just be yours...
and who have crossed that thin line of demarcation
between just a friend and
someone without you find yourself incomplete....
whom you miss more than yourself....
who has never referred to you by your real name...
who takes your purse without your permission
without whom you never even think of going out to have fun....
who made your life worth living by just being around..
and the thought of time flying so fast has been bothering you a lot....

let this be a reminiscence of those happy moments left behind.....!!!!!!!

A Painfull pleasure...

Here ends my college life.
From today no more classes to attend.
And pretty soon I will cease to be a college guy or a college girl.
Hmmm… Those years! I seem to remember my first day like it happened yesterday.
The mixed emotions of excitement,
fear and happiness of entering into a new world, all seem so vivid.
And now when everything seemed so settled, its time to go.
College presented me with a lot of good memories and off course a few bad ones.
I’m just glad that my good memories heavily outweigh the bad ones.
The class tours, those countless “ unofficial” tours, the onam and eid celebrations,
the films during strike days, getting fired by our teachers,
the last minute running around taking records for our lab stuff,
copying assignments just five minutes before submission, those wedding trips,
sending SMS and missed calls during class, learning together during the series exams,
those birthday treats,those sleepovers,
the heated debates on each and every small thing, the public “ puyipp” times,
the song and dance sessions during the final days….
oh god! I’m going to badly miss these happy days!
This is my “ Painful Pleasure”.. thinking of those days that’ll never return